# McClish.me

> ---> Kowi Chito Hopaii (Choctaw): He who observes with puma spirit


## Posts

- [On... Sticking up for yourself - Bill of Rights](https://mcclish.me/on-bill-of-rights/): There have been times when I have been walked on, when I have compromised on some things that I had regrets about later, and times when I agreed with or didn't challenge others who held very different beliefs than myself (and sometimes different values), because I wanted to be liked, or didn't want to cause any conflicts.   To assist with my new found voice, I created a personal "Bill of Rights" to assist me with my process of being more vocal.
- [On... Facing Your Fears](https://mcclish.me/on-facing-your-fears/): My mother had a heart condition. She developed kidney failure and congestive heart failure. She was in and out of the hospital. She had to be on dialysis. After she passed away when I was 22, I vowed to exercise and keep myself healthy, as I didn’t want to have a heart condition and go through all that she went through.  I recently went to a new cardiologist. She did an EKG, listened to my heart, which had a strong murmur, and had me describe my symptoms. She said that she believes that my mitral valve needs repaired or replaced.”  I would need heart surgery.  The very thing I feared, having a heart condition, seemed to be where I was at.
- [On... Change](https://mcclish.me/on-change/): We call it a “comfort zone,” but comfort is rarely what’s actually living there. More often, it’s familiarity. And familiarity is not the same thing as peace. Change asks us to risk embarrassment. Risk failure. Risk loneliness. Risk becoming someone we have never been before. Risk is frightening. Sometimes the old life may not even be good for us anymore, yet we still cling to it — because at least it is recognizable. A person can remain stuck for years simply because familiarity feels safer than uncertainty. But the spirit does not grow in stagnant water.
- [On... Turning it over](https://mcclish.me/on-turning-it-over/): "Turning it over" looks like acknowledging, (sometimes out loud or in writing - often with great emotional pain), that something is beyond my reach.  I have to ask: “What is mine to do here, and what isn’t?”  I must find the next right action — small, concrete, within my actual sphere of control — and then let the rest be.
- [On... Worry](https://mcclish.me/on-worry/): Worry is resistance. It is us saying to the universe, I do not trust what is coming, I don't like it, and so I will fight it in my mind before it even arrives. That mental fighting is exhausting. And it rarely changes the outcome.
- [On... Assertiveness](https://mcclish.me/on-assertiveness/): You should love yourself enough to know that you deserve to be treated with respect. Further, it is important to let go of the need to be liked by everyone. It feels very good when I have moments that I can be proud of myself for speaking up when needed. It feels good to have a difficult conversation (not at the time, but afterward) knowing that I didn't "sugar coat" the truth, that I will not have regrets about saying what needs to be said.
- [On... Toxic people](https://mcclish.me/on-toxic-people/): Having a difficult person in our life, creates an environment that does not support our well-being. Around this person (or people), it is difficult to grow, flourish, to have or maintain a positive attitude, or to enjoy life. In other words, to our well-being, this person is toxic. As I just mentioned, this could be a family member, coworker, boss, neighbor, ex-lover, etc. It could even be a collection of people such as a toxic work environment.
- [On... What not to think about](https://mcclish.me/on-your-focus/): As part of our growth process, we often focus on living in the moment and trying to take in the wonder, joy and even the lessons hidden in pain. We can wonder through life, handling whatever it is that life gives us. While your wander, instead of focusing on what not to think about and what you shouldn't do, try to instead keep an eye open to where you want to go.
- [On... The here and now](https://mcclish.me/on-living-in-the-present-moment/): What if we ditched most of our agenda?  What if we accepted life as it comes? What if we worked towards making meaningful experiences in the here-and-now, more than we do in focusing too much on the past or future? 
- [On... Slogans such as "First things first"](https://mcclish.me/first-things-first/): First things first. How it works, is that I will focus on one issue at a time.  If I can, I try to focus on an action that I can take today, limiting my focus to only one of the issues (perhaps the issue that needs the most attention), therefore not facing the brunt of a bunch of concerning issues.
- [On... Rigid thinking](https://mcclish.me/on-rigid-thinking/): Think of an ability that you have (a talent, skill, hobby) and imagine what life would be like if it were no longer in your life - gone.  What would you do instead?  How would you find meaning, purpose, and enjoyment?  How would you redefine yourself?  Sometimes it can be challenging and yet interesting to consider this question, "Who would I be if the things around me that I cherish were gone?"
- [On... Addiction](https://mcclish.me/on-addiction/): I don't see addicts as bad people. I know of many good people with addiction. It is powerful. I do find myself viewing it in terms of an illness. I have seen those cry when told there liver is failing and promising themselves and others of change - only to see the person back in the ER later. Is it a habit? Well if you were told you were going to die or lose those close to you if you keep biting your nails, I guarantee that you would stop.
- [On... Commitment and motivation](https://mcclish.me/on-commitment-and-motivation/): Commitment means doing it even if you don't feel up to it, and especially when you don't feel up to it.  Make part of your commitment involve being willing to ask for help and to use that help/assistance when needed. I want to say this loud and clear, there is nothing wrong with asking for help. You deserve allowing help and some others should not be denied if they want to offer themselves for help.  
- [On... Meditation](https://mcclish.me/on-meditation/): There are guided visual meditations, tension and relaxation of body part meditations, eve movement meditations, etc.  What I want to emphasize is that many believe that the only way to meditate is to “clear my mind of all thoughts” and sit for long periods of time. This is not how meditation has to be for you.
- [On... Mindfulness](https://mcclish.me/on-mindfulness/): Mindfulness helps with what I call "healthy detachment" - which is the ability to consistently recognize that we are not our thoughts - that our thoughts are products of our mind that often deceive us, because we automatically believe and trust our thoughts.  It's kind of exciting when you recognize that you are not your thoughts. When you can recognize that you don't have to take in all your thoughts as 100 percent factual.
- [On... Acceptance](https://mcclish.me/on-acceptance/): Acceptance is realizing that we are limited in changing others. Acceptance is recognizing that life will often throw us something unexpected. Acceptance is also self-acceptance that includes awareness of our limitations, our faults, our flaws, our mistakes, along with the opposite: and that is being able to see our strengths, our accomplishments and the good that is within us. The strengths and positive aspects of ourselves is often what we minimize or overlook.
- [On... Our desire to control life](https://mcclish.me/my-thoughts-on-our-desire-to-control-life/): Our nature is that we tend to move towards the things that we think will bring us enjoyment, while simultaneously moving away from things that bring us pain. Sometimes in doing this process, we move towards temporary happiness. Once I get that new TV, computer, lover, etc - I will be happy. Yet none of these things that we may believe will bring us lasting happiness ever do, because: people change, things break, people leave us (and die), and life often craps on us (seemingly). Further, sometimes the very things that we think will bring us happiness, end up bringing us pain. 

## Pages

- [Secret page!](https://mcclish.me/secret/): Congratulations! You have landed on an Easter Egg – a secret page on Chris’s website. I wonder if there are any secrets here? Yes there are! For a free pdf copy of Chris’s book “Walking the Red Road Home” text your name and the message “I want a free pdf copy of your book because I found the secret webpage” to phone number 8168920999 For $40 off of a psychotherapy session, mention to Chris, “I found your secret webpage, can I get $40 off?” at the time of the session (excludes if you use insurance).
- [Therapy](https://mcclish.me/therapy/): Coming Soon! This page is under development Psychotherapy is typically conducted via internet apps and is based on a clinical hour of service. If you have insurance, you will pay at the contracted insurance rate. It is your responsibility to know if Chris McClish is an in-network provider and if any or all of his services are covered by your insurance provider. The cash/non-insurance rate is $140 per session.
- [Daily Wisdom](https://mcclish.me/daily-wisdom/): Provided to you here is a bit of daily Native Wisdom from Kowi Chito Hopaii! Reflect on what is offered. If you need more, click “next”; however, I encourage you to mainly focus on what is offered today and return in the future for more. If this helps you, if you would like, you could repay me by buying me a coffee!
- [Lineage](https://mcclish.me/lineage/): Christian L McClish “Kowi Chito Hopaii” – Native American Ancestry/Lineage: This traces lineage from Christian’s father’s side, showing the Native American heritage: The House of Wildcats – Kowimihlha’ Iksa’ The House of Wildcats clan of the Chickasaw were the apex protectors of their people. In the Chickasaw language, Kowi’ is the root word for the entire wild cat family – from bobcat to puma. – with the mountain lion specifically revered as Ko-Ishto, meaning “Cat of God.” The clan’s traditional role was nocturnal protection, tracking, security, and guardianship of the community. They were more active at night under the cover of […]
- [My thoughts](https://mcclish.me/blog-my-thoughts/): Welcome to my blog – My thoughts! Each post begins with “On…”
- [My books!](https://mcclish.me/books/): Ranked as a best selling latest release! This top ranking ebook is available exclusively for Amazon Kindle! There is also paperback, hardback and an audiobook available! The ebook version is also included with your Kindle Unlimited membership! Written by Chris L McClish under his Choctaw name: Kowi Chito Hopaii. Click below to buy it on Amazon !: Available in KIndle ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audio versions! About this book: Walking the Red Road Home is a follow-up book to Accepting Life on Life’s Terms, yet also serves as a stand-alone work! What if the wisdom you have been searching for in meditation […]
- [Art Gallery](https://mcclish.me/art-gallery/): Some of my artwork through the years!
- [Contact me](https://mcclish.me/contact-me/)
- [Cup of Tao](https://mcclish.me/cup-of-tao/): Cup of Tao podcast Cup of Tao is “Ancient wisdom for modern times! “ Hosted by Chris L McClish A big THANK YOU to PAUL S for being a LONG TIME supporter of the show!!! This is a podcast for those who have an interest in philosophy, and mindfulness-based skills. People around the world have listened to Cup of Tao, and it has ranked high for philosophy based podcasts! Listen everywhere you hear podcasts!  Follow Cup of Tao podcast on social media:
- [Aiki Judo](https://mcclish.me/aiki-judo/): Also known as an “Empty Gi (or Empty Jacket)” style. Gi is pronounced with the “i” having a hard E sound, spoken: “Empty Gee”. This is a Judo/Jujitsu Fighting Style based on principles of redirecting energy (not true non-resistance, but compared to other martial arts styles, more “relaxed” as well as, more reactive. The concept of Empty-Gi-Aiki-Judo as discussed here, in the style of Judo, is comparable to the term Aiki used in martial arts such as Aikido, Hapkido and Aiki Jujitsu. Therefore, we could also call it, Aiki Judo. “Ai” (pronounced “eye”) can be interpreted as blending or merging. ”Ki” […]
- [Bio](https://mcclish.me/bio/): Chris, who is also known by his Choctaw name, Kowi Chito Hopaii (“He who observes with puma spirit”), was a psychotherapist (licensed in Kansas) for many years. He was known for his background in a mix of therapeutic styles, which drew from philosophy (eastern and western) including mindfulness-based contextual psychotherapies. Additionally, his Native American heritage contributed to his love for spiritual based philosophical themes. He had been at the top of his class in his graduate degree studies in psychology. He was well-respected for his service as a mentor, supervisor, private practice clinician, through his work in both hospital and outpatient […]
- [CMC](https://mcclish.me/): Chris L McClish Has had many life roles past and present, including: psychologist, public speaker, Judo coach/sensei, author, artist, musician, podcast host, mentor, spiritual philosopher. “Many roles. Many journeys. One spirit: the puma.” Read my latest bestselling book! Walking the Red Road Home eBook version is exclusively for Amazon Kindle and included with Kindle Unlimited    Available in: printed, digital, and audio-book formats! Contains glimpses of wisdom influenced by Native American philosophy to apply to modern life issues! Grab this Amazon bestseller now! Aiki Judo / Empty Gi style Learn about a style of the martial art of Judo that is commonly […]
- [Privacy Policy](https://mcclish.me/privacy-policy/): Who am I My website address is: https://mcclish.me. My name is Chris L McClish, also known as: Christian McClish, Kowi Chito Hopaii, Kowi, CoachCMC, CMC, and USChris. I have also used the registered LLC, which is CoachCMC LLC. Comments When visitors leave comments on the site we collect the data shown in the comments form, and also the visitor’s IP address and browser user agent string to help spam detection. An anonymized string created from your email address (also called a hash) may be provided to the Gravatar service to see if you are using it. The Gravatar service privacy policy […]

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