There are people in our lives that we may not be able to totally avoid (such as: coworkers, people that we live with, family members, etc.). Some of these people are not necessarily bad people, but people that have personalities, beliefs, opinions, or a temperament that doesn’t mix well with us. Having a difficult person in our life, creates an environment that does not support our well-being. Around this person (or people), it is difficult to grow, flourish, to have or maintain a positive attitude, or to enjoy life. In other words, to our well-being, this person is toxic. As I just mentioned, this could be a family member, coworker, boss, neighbor, ex-lover, etc. It could even be a collection of people such as a toxic work environment.
it is easier said than done, to turn the other cheek. It is easy to tell others to just forgive and forget. We tend to hear and believe (and I often believe this) that others mostly have good intentions. It could be that we love this person, but the person’s behavior is something that we can no longer tolerate.
Here are some observations. Think about these:
You can love someone while knowing that it is not good for you to be around that person.
You can like someone while recognizing that the person may not be a good fit for you.
Some people do good things, but still may be a contaminate to others, provided some of the things that they do that are not so good.
There are also those people out there who don’t like us. Maybe we want the person or people to like us, but it is just not going to happen. It is so true that you can’t please everyone. It is also true that, for whatever reason, you will have people out there who don’t like what you say, don’t like what you do, or simply don’t like you for reasons that you may never know.
The sad fact is that other people have the capacity to hurt us. Some people have the capacity and will choose to lie, slander, abuse, ignore, let us down, or do any of the things that can hurt us.
In today’s world, with social media, all it takes is for someone to say something bad about someone else, and a whole army of followers holds this as the absolute truth and then gangs up on the person that has been slandered. I could do a whole book on the evils of social media.
You are a worthy person. You have the right to a safe, nurturing, environment. You have the right to heal. You have the right to stick up for yourself and for those whom you love. You can set limits, even with those who you do care about. You can love someone without having to have that person in your life. You can learn to ignore those that you can’t avoid. You are worthy of respect.
It may be time to look at your life and see what or who that you need to let go (be that mentally or by physically separating yourself from that person). Meaning, that you may need to get a toxic person completely out of your life, or maybe you practice ignoring the person’s degrading comments or do whatever you can to allow yourself not to absorb the toxicity- the healthiest action possible to protect yourself, given the situation. What is really important, is that you do not allow other people to “live in your head”. Your mind is your space and you can take control of the messages that you give yourself. I know it is hard to do sometimes. I have spent my whole life struggling, as I want everyone to like me and further, I want to get along with everyone. I hate conflict. I thrive on being accepted. I want everyone to love what I do. I want all the people I care about to get along. It is hard to accept that I can’t have things as I want. However, I can take measures to guard my respect.